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Why is it that we tend to focus so much on our jobs, family, projects, etc. and forget that we are just as important to take care of? When I was growing up life seemed so much more simple than it is in today's world. It seems today there are so many more activities that kids are involved in yet much less time available in each day. We have become a society of on-the-goer's and everything is about the hustle and bustle with little to no downtime.
If we do not find the time for ourselves and put it on a calendar then chances are we won't get to take that time. Two years ago I was getting really burnt out at being a stay-at-home mom. I was angry because staying home was not a choice that I had made for me. I was staying home because our oldest daughter, Emily, needed me to take her to all of her doctor's appointments and daily therapies. I was frustrated because just months before Emily arrived I had finally completed my four year degree and was on a career path.
So two years ago I decided to take my first vacation - alone! I went to Florida and stayed with a family friend and really took the time to enjoy not being a mom and reconnect with my inner spirit. It was at this point that I started to realize how important it is to take time for yourself everyday, even if it is for only a few minutes.
When I begin to get that feeling again of being burnt out I remind myself that it is okay to put everything on hold to take care of me. Other things can wait, but if I don't take care of myself and I get sick, then life will be that much more challenging for us all. So here are some of the things that I do to take care of me:
I take a shower and get ready without anyone in the bathroom everyday (no kids)
We have a weekly cleaning person come and clean so that I can focus on more important tasks
I get a massage or pedicure every other month
I treat myself to a nice haircut every six weeks or so
Sometimes I go out to eat or shopping alone
I take time to chat with friends online or on the phone
I go to the gym at least 3 times a week - sometimes more
I treat myself to a nice glass of wine at the end of the day
and so much more....
On the days and weeks that I forget to take time for myself I find that I get more agitated at things in general. I can not stress enough how important it is to pencil ourselves into our busy calendars! So next time you are feeling down, crabby, or just burnt out remind yourself that it is okay to take the time to treat yourself and refresh you mind, body, and spirit - you need it!
It appears that we must be born with some self-control. How do I know this? Well, I gave my 19 month old a potato chip and watched her delicately carry it around for over 30 minutes one day as I shoveled chip after chip into my mouth. When she was half way through the chip she came over to me and said, "thank you, mama" and handed the chip to me stating that she was 'all done'. So what happens to us as we age that we lose that sense of self-control? Of course, I don't have the answer to this question but I do know that we must not forget that sometime in life we did have self-control.
Just remember that self-control is something that we can get back. Once we release our fears of whatever to the Universe we release the pressure on ourselves. It is at this point that we can begin to 'take' control so to speak and let go of the need for things that are unnecessary in our growth process.
I have recently begun to let go of things that are out of my control. Like my fear that Emily won't live a long and healthy life here with us. I have let go of the fear that we can not ever get her off of seizure medications or get her seizures under control. I have let go of the fear that we could live a 'normal' life as a family or that we couldn't function without the aid of a nurse or other help in our house.
There are other fears that I have let go of, but it would take too long to list them all. However, as I have let go of things I have begun to see my outlook on life begin to change. I have been more motivated to take time for myself (hence the Blogging) and also take more concern in how I outwardly appear to the world. I look at myself in photos and in the mirror each day and realize that I do not look like the person I want to be right here and now. I feel yucky in my own skin. I see extra weight that I have let take control. I have a scar from where I had skin cancer removed on my nose. I see age spots appearing on my face. What is all this about?? I have been so focused on our daughter with medical needs that I have forgotten to take care of myself. Now, it is time for me to take control of my life and gain some self-control at the same time.
So what am I going to do about all of this? How am I going to change? Well, the first step for me was join a gym that was out of my comfort zone. The previous gym that I belonged to was one where people were just going through the motions each day. This new gym is about energy and people being excited to be there and workout. Even the colors of the walls at this gym are bright yellow screaming energy and excitement.
I am only a few short weeks into my metamorphosis, but I am already beginning to feel lighter in mind, body and spirit. I begin every morning now by dancing to start off my day on the right foot. I look at myself closely in the mirror and say to myself that I can only control the things within my power and the rest is up to my higher power and the universe. I tell myself that it is okay to be me and that I am a beautiful person. All of my letting go has lead to a better sense of self-control during my day. I don't find myself craving things that are bad for me. I walk past things like junk food at the store that would have jumped into my cart as I walked by them feeling self-pity. I hold my head high knowing that I am in the process of feeling better from head to toe.
I believe the power of self-control is in all of us and we may not need to dig as deep as we think to tap into it. Sometimes it just takes letting go of control to regain our self-control. Try it, I dare you!
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