I get frustrated sometimes when I overhear people talking about those around them who may look different. That different could mean the color of their skin, the way they wear their hair, how they dress, tattoos, piercings, or a disability. As a child I may have made fun of those who were different from me, but deep down inside I was quietly apologizing to them saying, "I am sorry, I only said those things to be accepted by my friends." It has never sat well with me to make fun of anyone or to ignore them when they approach me. I am a very kind spirit and attract people of all kinds to help them through their journeys in life.
Why is it that we assume that someone with tattoos or piercings or alternative looking clothing is a bad person? Those of you who have known me since childhood probably already know that I have many tattoos and once upon a time had piercings in odd places. But look at me now. Would you think that I am or was a bad person? Yes, I made some really bad choices. I dabbled in drugs of all kinds, on occasion I could be seen smoking a clove cigarette and I even participated in unmentionable things that aren't worth talking about. But can you see that from my outward appearance today?
We need to realize that many times the way we look is either a disguise for what is going on in our lives, or a way to express ourselves or it is just the way we were born. I am sure that people judged me by my appearance when I was going through my alternative phase, but if they talked to me they would have realized that at the time I was a wounded soul.
It took years of soul searching and healing to get to where and to who I am today. But the bottom line is that I was always there, I was just hiding behind my appearance. So I just ask of you today and in the future, look past outward appearances and reach out to those who a masking their pain. They are a beautiful soul on the inside and you never know what they have to offer in this world unless you reach out to them and let them know they are okay.
I am living proof of the saying, "never judge a book by its cover".
14 years ago
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For some reason, I couldn't comment on your blog page. As I was reading your blog, which I love, by the way, I thought to myself that we also need to keep an awareness that people that are saying those negative things are doing so because of a negative situation as well. I think some people just aren't in a place in their spirituality and humanity to have an awareness of the pain they are causing another person by making fun of someone, or making a mean comment. We need to have enough assertive courageous people to stand up to those people when they are being mean.... with kindness and without judgement to teach them about the pain they are causing. I have learned how to do this with my family members, but still do not possess the courage to do it to someone I don't know very well. I know that when I have made a mean comment, it was usually out of jealousy, or anger or pain because I was hurting too. I had a moment recently, where I behaved inappropriately with a teenage girl, that worked at a temporary daycare center, because she hit my son (unintentionally, but through aggressive behavior). I was upset and approached her to be more careful, and she became instantly defensive and very rude. I complained to her manager and she talked with her. What I realized when I got home was that maybe I didn't help the situation and could have handled it better. I went back to the girl the following work day and apologized, and told her that I wanted us both to learn from the situation and I didn't want her to take with her the bad experience of some mean mom that got her into trouble. I realized that I was really upset because my son wanted to get out of the daycare, and I couldn't yet get him until they checked my Id and some other hoopla. He was sad and didn't understand why I couldn't just come and take him right then, and this upset me. Then the girl hit my son unintentionally and I had all that pent up frustration and reacted a little more harshly than I should have. It's like a ripple effect. I don't know what kind of impact my apology will have on her, but I can only hope that one day it will make the difference.
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